CHOCOLAT CHAUD.

Hot chocolate in the french alps always tastes so much better. That's probably to do with the fact that food and drink out here is generally better, fresher and tastier but also that after a long day's riding the slopes there's nothing more deserving than one of these baby's.

KISS ME!

My younger brother and my two sisters are certainly growing up as much as I hate to admit it. It's scary. My youngest sister even has a boyfriend even though I'm told it's more of a cyber relationship where they don't actually acknowledge each other at school but declare their eternal love for each other on IM. Maybe I should give that kind of relationship a try? Ha. Anyhow it's a little crazy when they start asking me about explicit rap music, how to kiss and everything else that comes with it. My dear, I remember I used to feed you when you were still a baby and now you're asking me about kissing girls! I guess the only advice I could give on this is that you shouldn't rush things. The first kiss should always be as special and memorable as possible and always avoid just 'shuvving' your tongue in someone's mouth (not on the first kiss) because then you instantly become a Mr. Gag Reflex. Not a good reputation to maintain. But apart from that little input I don't think kissing is something you can really advise or go into too much detail about... it's something personal and dependant on the situation and meaning.

Honestly, I love being kissed on the forehead. I know, where's the fun in that? I guess I just think it's really sweet and thoughtful. It says a lot. I personally don't think kissing should ever be confined to the lips... the hand, the cheek, the neck... the list goes on. I also think that where you kiss sends a varying, different message each time which is pretty immense.
How do you like your kisses?

PICK 'N' MIX.

There is SO many different worlds out there full of so many different people. Travelling reminds you of that and widens your views. I have made so many completely different friends in my short time that are all amazing in completely different ways. I look at how they all live and how much it varies from each group of friends in every place. And the best bit is that none of them are living life the wrong way because there is no wrong way... just the way they choose. I always try and expose myself to diversity in life, cultures and people as much as possible. It makes me really angry when some people choose to take an ignorant, malevolant attitude and refuse to open themselves up in life and to new, different people. Everybody is here to become as greater person as they can be and do great things and when people display ignorance they are settling for a back road without even attempting to find a solution. I am forever trying to expand myself, grow, learn new things, meet new people and utilise my abilities. I guess anybody who does take the more ignorant, narrow-minded approach to life misses out in so many ways that it becomes sad which more than definitley makes it their loss.

PETER DUNDAS.

'Long sleeves, short hem. Flash of cleavage, no legs. Smart women always know how to play with that. They'll throw on a massive piece of jewlerry with a pair of combats. Either way, it's about creating the desire to undress the body without pratically doing it. It's all about counter balance. If a women has a beautiful back backless dresses are sensual. If she has great legs she should show them off  BUT the most sexy thing is body language - someody who knows their body and speaks WITH their body. It gets me every time.'

A wonderful man, a wonderful concept of designing.

YOU NEED TO CALL TYRONE... HOLD ON........................

... BUT YA' CAN'T USE MY PHONE.

IT'S AGAINST THE LAW.

'As long as it's illegal the more I enjoy the high, as long as it's illegal the more profit there is to be made, as long as it's illegal the more I enjoy knowing I'm doing something against the laws that our corrupt governments set up for us. Maybe even if we sell, buy, consume and or get arrested for it they are still in the winning position but even with their laws and rules, even if they take my stash away they can't take away my high.' - Collie Buddz.

A BIT OF SUNSHINE WARMS THE HEART.

Isn't it strange that the littlest things such as the weather can have such a powerful effect on your mood? I woke up this morning and even though I'm going through one of the most difficult times I've ever had right now the little ray of sunshine gleaming through the crack in my curtain seemed to make everything feel a hundred times better. Whilst that sunshine was beaming across the side of me not only did it warm me up inside but it brought a smile to lighten my face up with it.

IF ONLY...

... I got paid to blog.

WHAT'S MY NAME?

GRATITUDE.

Life isn't always tied with a bow but it's a gift all the same. 

REAL DRAMA.

It really angers me that there are some people out there that consistently feel the need to victimise themselves and talk about how difficult their lives are in comparison to others. We all have our fair share of problems in life... some dealt a bigger hand than others, some different to others and some harder to overcome. I've had an ample amount of problems in my life that have certainly taken an affect on me but I've learnt over time to fight through rather than dwell in it. People look at my exterior and tend to assume I have never had a day's problem in my life babbling on to me about their difficulties. Just because I am fortunate and I don't bring up my issues (past and present) on a regular basis doesn't mean they're non-existent. Some people are forever looking for the sympathy vote instead of appreciating the fact it's made you even stronger than you already were in the first place. The way I see it is there is ALWAYS someone worse of than you round the corner... always. Unless you can tell me you live in a deprived and suffering third world country (which if you're reading my blog I'm sure you're not). That's what gets me through. I'm not doubting the fact that we can reduce ourselves to dirt by amplifying emotions and our minds can go everywhere and anywhere but seriously... there's bigger stuff going on in the world and other people have REAL problems...

JUST DO IT.

My butt is BIG and round like the letter C and ten thousand lunges has made it rounder not smaller and that's just fine. It's a space heater for my side of the bed. It's my embassador to those who walk behind me. It's a border collie that heards skinny women away from the best deals at clothing sales. My butt is big and that's just fine and those who might scorn are invited to KISS IT.

JUDGE ME.

"When it comes down to it I let them think what they want, if they care enough to bother with what I do then I am already better than them."

THERE IS A GARDEN IN EVERY CHILDHOOD...

... an enchanted place where colours are brighter, the air softer and the morning more fragrant than ever again.


I miss playing on the common with James, Ben and Matthew in our mud patch... which was exactly that. I miss the chance to see my cousins and family on a more regular basis. I miss eating my packed lunches in the wildlife garden with Poppy, Natalie, Katie and Rosemary. I miss that special Christmas feeling. I miss waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. I miss playing random games such as skittles in my Nana and Grandad’s garden with Seb... and it didn't matter that we had no clothes on. I miss conker bashes. I miss the regular CBBC slot after getting home from school. I miss exciting trips to my Grandma and Grandpa's in Cornwall. I miss watching my Grandpa in the garden. I miss my Grandpa continuing to watch television through any dance show I ever performed for everyone in the living room, being completely oblivious to the fact I was parading around him with my legs in the air trying to get his approval. I miss my Grandpa being around. I miss playing with all my awesome toys like scalectrix, LEGO, farmyards and Sylvanian families. I miss my brother being selfish and not letting me play with any of the awesome toys. I miss always being the last child at the wall with my velcro reading folder waiting for my Mum to come pick me up hours later than everybody else. I miss bedtime stories. I miss having a cuddle with my Dad and feeling like I was the safest little girl in the world. I miss being carried around on people's shoulders. I miss family days because everybody still lived close enough. I miss family Christmas'. I miss Christmas films on Christmas Eve. I miss believing. I miss my family. I miss not living with my brothers and sisters. I miss listening to Leonie tell me her daughter will be called 'Sunflower' whilst bathing her. I miss cuddles and chats with my sisters before bed. I miss summers with everyone, the pool and Dad's bbq. I miss school. I miss the friends I've lost touch with. I miss going for drives with Dad and Tom in the porsche. I miss listening to Red hot chilli peppers, The Beautiful South and David Bowie with Dad whilst driving along on a summer's day. I miss the first time I heard 'Bittersweet symphony' by The Verve in my Uncle Paul's car and thinking how happy it made me. I miss Nana telling me at every Sunday dinner that if I ate my brussel sprouts my hair would go very curly. I miss all the amazing memories at my Nana and Grandad's old house. I miss the time when my Grandad dressed up as Santa and came on the balcony. I miss eating pie and chips in my 'sponsered by Dagenham motors' kit before going to see West ham with my Dad.
I miss not having a worry in the world. I miss thinking everything in life is good.
I miss so much that it's impossible to list...

GOOD MORNING DECEMBER.

It's December 1st, the first day of the month of Christmas and I'd like to make everyone fully aware and bring to your attention that I do not have an advent calender. I would really appreciate it if someone could address this situation immediately without providing any poor excuses with reference to my age group. On a lighter note, we do, however, have a lot of snow that is very beautiful despite the fact it's causing chaos all over England. It's definitely encouraging the Christmas spirit and surprisingly, I, myself am even feeling somewhat 'Christmassy'. It's a little hard not to after you've had a hot shower, you'll snuggled up in your slippers by the fire watching 'Elf', organising your Christmas gifts and it's snowing outside. I can't believe how quickly December has come around but all the same I'm looking forward to the festivities over the next month and more than ready to begin a new year. If I'm honest I feel a little lost this Christmas. It's hit me fairly hard how long it's been since I experienced a real family Christmas. Not only that but it will be my first Christmas in my new home, which will be somewhat strange. Half of me is starting to wish I arranged to spend Christmas in the alps but that would result in leaving my Mum on her own which is not something I want to consider as I'm aware how difficult she finds Christmas as it is. I've already promised myself I'll do my up most to make this year a good Christmas and pull out all the stops however possible but unfortunately I don't have the ability nor am I in a position financially to pay out for over several flights from all over the world. I can only keep hoping that at some point in the near future I'll be lucky enough to have traditional, all-out Christmas celebrations spent with every single one of my relatives.

THOUGH IT'S DARKER THAN DECEMBER WHAT'S AHEAD IS A DIFFERENT COLOUR...

... One day we're gonna' get so high.

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME: PART II.

So I compiled a list of what I think concludes my 'me time'... the most important activies, focusing on me with no one else in involved. Things I enjoy or find relaxing when I'm by myself. I'm sure I haven't got everything but it's near enough there...
1) Dancing.
2) Playing music/ writing songs.
3) Listening to music.
4) Learning to cook.
5) Pampering myself.
6) Excessively long showers.
7) Writing.
8) Being on the slopes.
9) Driving.
10) Planning/ organising.

The simplest of little loves that may have no interest to you but are personal to me. If there's anything to add I'll get back to you...

IMMA' MEET YOU HALF WAY.

I gots' you.

(P.S. It's all about the little back into the big booty!)

MEN ARE FROM EARTH, WOMEN ARE FROM EARTH.

I guess everything is a little different once you've found the person you spend all your time with... the one you look to spending your forever with. You're a little harder on them than you were on anyone else, simply because this is your forever too, not just there’s. You’re committing, almost giving, a fraction of your life to somebody else and there for, at times, find yourself being overly critical. You have to put more effort in and not allow yourself to give up easily. You have to compromise, accept each others flaws and consistently work on the relationship, never becoming lazy. You both make your fair share of mistakes along the way and in the process learn from them and learn to forgive each other. When you struggle with your partner, you are probably struggling with yourself. The faults you see in them touches a denied weakness in you. Before we start trying to change others we need to remember how difficult it is to change ourselves. So many people go through life without acknowledging that their feelings towards other people are mainly determined by the feelings for themselves. If you're not comfortable within yourself and you don't love yourself, you can't be comfortable with others. In a relationship you tend to stumble, you trip and you fall but you're always suppose to do your up most to get back up again, holding each other's hands to help. You may experience some excruciating pain and you may have to become a little tougher but for you it's worthwhile. It's very easy to become irritated by each other's every day annoyances and even easier to allow the hard times to cloud the thousands of good times. There's many distractions and obstacles put in front of you to throw you off course. Some of the biggest difficulties in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship to get something. Looking to find someone to make them feel good. Realistically, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. Little kindness and courtesies are so important. In relationships, the little things are the big things. It will take the littlest of things to remind you how much you appreciate each other and when you do you can sit back and feel a sense of pride. No one can see into the future to tell whether a partnership can withstand the test of time but it's hope that keeps everyone taking chances. You love and you care for the one you chose to. A real, 'for keeps' relationship is strong enough to withstand the difficulties of life, pull through, keep getting better and make you realise why it never worked out with anyone else.

I'M SORRY DID MY BACK HURT YOUR KNIFE?

Please take it out before you go... you'll probably need it again.

STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF BECAUSE THERE'S VERY FEW PEOPLE WHO WILL STAY TRUE TO YOU.

I am surrounded with great people in every aspect of my life. Yes there is always going to be the occasional selection of dickheads finding a way to pop up and trying their up most to destruct your generalised happiness but now-a-days the majority of people get that crap in life. As you progress in life you learn to accept it, not worry about what irrelevant people, that mean nothing personally to you, think and amuse yourself with the thought that clearly they have nothing better to occupy themselves with. It's a sad situation when there is still people out there that cant stand to see anyone but themselves happy and thrive off of making others lives difficult. At times I do think I'm slightly naive. I feel that having such amazing people around me has warped my belief in humanity. All of my loved ones are amazing people and most of them extremely loyal with good morals and standards. At times I think I expect too much or always look for the best of people. When people do things I or the people around me wouldn’t I find it almost impossible to believe. It's almost as if I cant get my head around it, sticking with the view that nobody else would do what I wouldn't and that everyone is incapable of being intentionally cruel. That's probably why I take it so hard when incidents like these do arise. It most definitely surprises me, to say the least.  Perhaps I need to open my eyes a little wider and be a bit more of a realist because in the last year, more than ever I’ve realised people aren’t all their made out to be. Everybody is capable of what they want and allow themselves to be capable of. 
Hidden agendas, unnecessary lies and spitefulness all exist and that’s not even half of it…

HOME, SWEET HOME ♥

Today is the day... I get the keys to my new home.

LIGHT UP, LIGHT UP.

... As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear.

I'll sing it one last time for you,
Then we really have to go,
You've been the only thing that's right,
In all I've done.

And I can barely look at you,
But every single time I do,
I know we'll make it anywhere,
Away from here.

BRITISH MORNINGS.

This morning was so pretty. We're at the stage where the weather is surely changing and we're just crossing the border from autum to winter. The nights are definetly darker and all our summer memories are slowly fading. Luckily, the landscape and winter atmosphere manages to keep us appreciative. Which means delicate layers of frost, the reflection of the sun, bursts of colours, watching our own breathe, the freshest of airs and a light glaze of mist that gives the countryside an edge of mystery. The combination of cold and sunlight can be admired for hours. As our traditional british winter leers around the corner, although cold and dull it is undoubtedly breath-takingly beautiful. 

.COM

NOT EVEN TIME...

'I'm always thinking of you but some days I can't forget you. I've never felt love like I felt for you. An overwhelming, indescriable but completely natural emotion that went away as quick as it came. The most beautiful things we can experience comes in the most mysterious of ways. Not even time can heal some pain.'

NO REGRETS.

Some things live with you forever. Like a permanent ink they embed on to you, seep into your skin and make you aware they'll never let go. The more you make a conscious effort to try and forget the more you're reminded. Then the never-ending wheels of questions begin to turn consistently until they penetrate your mind and leave your head in turmoil... 'What if?' 'Should I have?' 'Was it right?' 'Was I wrong?' 'Should I forget?' We all have a past. Some richer and deeper than others, some with more trials and tribulations and some with mistakes where the consequences are still being paid for. We can all think 'What if?' for as long as we live but it's a pointless exercise with no outcome because as I'm sure you're more than aware we are still unable to turn back time. Life is too short to live with regrets or to wish things were different. We don't have to forget everything we've fought through but we must learn from our experiences, develop and move on. As we constantly strive to grow and evolve in ourselves we leave our pasts behind because that's exactly what it is 'the past'. I can personally admit that my past has affected me in many different ways. It's important to always remember that whether it's left us with scars, lessons learnt, issues, thoughts or memories your past has helped mould in some form or another the person that stands before you today but it's just as important, if not more, to accept that and move on.

ERICA WINCHESTER.

                   

A postman named Hugson Jean was fired after this incident where a racist woman abused and assaulted him. To call it slightly unfair that he got fired for this after staying as calm as he did with this lady's behaviour would be an understatement. The worst thing is it appears to be completely her genuine feeling. It's clear she feels superior to him and feels insulted that he's not immediately doing what she has requested of him. She's doing her upmost to use a combination of fear, intimidation and voilence to get what she wants and in the long-term has portrayed herself as a racist, ignorant and narrow-minded human being.

FIGHT CLUB.

"The things you own end up owning you."
Tyler Durden (1999)

ROSE-TINTED GLASSES.

Imagine if as we entered life we were handed a pair of these baby's like we get handed glasses at the latest 3D film to hit our cinemas.

If only life was that simple.

Everyone looks at life through different perspectives and we're all forever trying to stay as positive as we allow ourselves to be no matter how many times we get knocked down or question giving up. I guess seeing life through rose-tinted glasses is equivalent to naivety in some ways and positivity in others and that in a life where we're forever facing obstacles in our journeys to what we're not even sure of, the key is finding the balance between the two. 

I KNOW WHERE YOU HIDE.

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies,
It’s compromise that moves us along,
My heart is full and my door’s always open...

Know all of the things that make you who you are,

Beg me to catch you every time you fall.

UNGUARDED.

IN A RICH MAN'S WORLD...

The temptation to spend hard-earned cash is everywhere. Especially when conspicuous consumption is being shoved down your throat by every wannabe in every mag you open. If the recession and crisis' has taught us all anything, it is perhaps the idea that you should not spend more than you earn. I have had the sense of money drummed into me by my Dad from a young age. Although for the majority of my life I have grown up with money I've always been made aware that there's things you can have and things you can't have. From what I have learnt credit cards are dangerous. I see so many people around me who have got themselves in horrible situations with debt whether it be hundreds or thousands and it's just not worth it. It's so easy to let your first pay cheque turn you into Kanye West. After you've finished living the high life and thinking you're a rock star for a week or so there is still the rent to pay, the food to buy and the costs of transport to get you to work to earn that money in the first place.

A FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE SONG IN YOUR HEART AND CAN SING IT BACK TO YOU WHEN YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE WORDS.

My mates are certainly one of the most important things in my life... I think it's the same for most people. They make me happy, they get me drunk and they pick up the pieces when something breaks. And unlike your family, you get to choose your mates through out your life. I think I have literally fallen in love with all of my closest friends as soon as I've met them. All my best mates make me smile and laugh so much. Getting the euphoric giggles with a mate is one of the best things in the world. I can't begin to express how much I appreciate every single one of my friends. Right now I feel like I have a great bunch of friends around me, probably the best little bunch I've ever had and they all compliment each other perfectly. I love them so much inclusive of every single one of their bad points.  Every single one of my close friends are crucial. Some friends you pick up early and they apparently stay forever and some friends burn brightly in your immediate existence only to disappear as fast as they came. One thing that's clear is the older you get the less time you have for your friends and the less time they have for you. Our life's become overloaded with other commitments so although they are important unfortunately we can't spend all afternoon listening to each other sing down the phone or have a 8 hour whine over a wine. That's just one of life's harsh realities. My capacity to make new friends has reduced. Not only do I find it difficult to put my trust in new people from past experiences but as I've got older I've come to an almost sub-conscious decision to focus on keeping the TRUE friends I know I do have rather than making new mates for the sake of it. I think it's all about quality with friends rather than quantity. To enable myself to give my friends the amount of attention they deserve as well as everything else in my life is already difficult enough. If I don't see them for weeks it doesn't matter because I pick up where I left off the next time I see them. I truly love my friends, worship the ground they walk on and think they are absolutely beautiful. They contribute to making me happy in the most wonderful of ways and for that I will always be grateful.

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

I love me time. When you've got yourself a fella, a job, a place to live and a bunch of friends you should always allow yourself enough time to step back and take a good look at yourself. Time to yourself is vital in this fast-paced society where we are constantly living up to people's expectations and trying our upmost to be all the things to everyone all the time. It is so important to chill. If you never do you lose perspective, your sense of humour and most importantly, yourself. 'Me time' isn't selfish or a waste, in fact, it's very important. Whether it's spending time with your family, having a drink, pampering yourself, having a hobby or kicking back. One of my best friends Harrie owns a quirky bunch of beautiful horses. I absolutely love to see how happy and mellowed out it makes her after she's spent a day with them. 'Me time' differences for every one of us. Personally I find it difficult to sit down and do absolutely nothing as I feel like I'm wasting time but perhaps relaxing takes practice. If you take time to look after yourself and respect yourself then others will do the same. It's hard in this day and age to not obsess about what other people think of you but I think the key is to be yourself. Embrace all your flaws, your faults and your bad points. Change the things you can change and don't stress out over the stuff you can't. Have some quality time with you. If all else fails... buy yourself some beautiful underwear.

THE ICING ON THE CAKE.

Life is like a cake and each of the slices represents a part of the whole. The real problem is keeping them all in balance so that the work slice doesn't take over from the family slice, relationship slice or the friend's slice. We are all searching for the right balance and the cherry on top that makes life perfect.

BLOWERS.

This is one of my close friends Becky Lowers. Sometimes she resembles Pixie Lott ridiculously (i.e. in this photo) although she doesn't think so. We have been friends for approximately 6 years. I'm only writing her a post because if I hadn't of read her blog and thought it looked like fun I wouldn't be writing one. And because I love her and she's special ... of course.

HIPS AND CURVES NOT SKIN AND BONE.

As a girl who possesses curves naturally I have tried my up most to learn to embrace them over the years and I've now come to a point where I can happily say that although I have my flaws like every human being I appreciate ME for who I am. I am now firmly aware, from experience, that whether I am a size 8 or a size 12 I will always remain curvy. Even if I lost all the wait physically possible I can guarantee I would still own a pair of boobs, a gigantic arse and prominent hips but you know what? I love that. At no point in my life can I ever remember aspiring to have a size 6 figure because my creator never intended for me to maintain a 12 year old's figure through out my whole life right? I am a woman. It's only in recent times that the world has become so obsessed with this distorted image sold to us by the press and magazines of what females must look like to be remotely beautiful. The more people who conform to what we're brainwashed to believe is attractive, including size, the more that this fake, unachievable image becomes real and it's not. I truly believe that curves are stunning, sexy, womanly and attractive... you only have to ask the men ;)! My opinion has never changed and I highly doubt it ever will... anyone who knows me will already know this.  

Hail the curves. Hail the real women.